The year is 2021 AD. Bharat is almost entirely under the sway of Hirsutus Grandus and his seniormost legionary Animus Terriblus. Well not entirely……one small village of indomitable Bongs under Chief Dominatrix, still holds out. The tale continues__ this time in verse.

1.1
It was the mother of all battles
She fought them hard, she beat them clean
Chief Dominatrix showed her mettle
The village cheered, “Aye aye our queen.”
Hirsutus’ hordes, all primed and ready,
Were no match, for that wily lady.
“I told you so”, beamed Braxtonhix,
“A win is something I can fix­.”
A quick aside, sotto voce,
“My loss is yours, your win is mine__
Our company’s snappy byline,
Has aged well, it’s sound, it’s catchy.”
He packed his bags, he left Bengaul
With his not inconsiderable haul.

 1.2
That doughty warhorse, Animus T,
Smirked, winked and said “Errm excuse me,
In no time, we’ll be back, you’ll see.”
Straight-faced, he said, “You will agree,
The EVMs were always fine?”
She smarted at his parting line.
Meanwhile, dear reader, don’t forget
That smooth young man, our lady’s pet
The nephew with elastic morals,
Questionableethix smiling coyly,
Sidled up, then whispered slyly,
“Auntie dear, you must not stall,
Time you made me Secretary,
You promised to, in February.”

 1.3
My reader fair, in life or art,
A promise taken at the flood
Is impervious to change of heart,
The Chief said, ‘Yes”, the nephew glowed.
At last, she thought, the time had come
To show the door to the odious bum
To rest awhile, to have a nap,
Some respite from the awful chap.
But Fate had other plans instead,
“By Toutatis!”, roared Etashetamix,
“Trouble’s brewing, we need a fix,
The Happy Gaul, in their op-ed__
Has made the most astounding claim,
That Roman-bashing is the game__

1.4
Of Gauls uncultured and uncouth.”
“Tch, tch!”, said D, “I smell a rat,
Could this be__send for the Chief Sleuth__
A plot? Someone vile? Someone fat?”
The Chief sighed, this was not easy,
Killing Romans made her queasy.
Besides all that terrible press,
Right before the guvnor’s address__
Might engineer her neat egress
From Gaulish Chief-ship, shamed, disgraced__
Frothing, fuming and red-faced__
That would be a right royal mess!
If I must, she mused, the knaves outfox,
I must get on the idiot box!

 1.5
“Friends, Gauls, Insiders”, she thunder’d,
“It’s time you stopped your violent games,
Bashing Romans, in case you’ve wonder’d,
Is giving Gaul a ghastly name.”
She shook her fist, from screens she glower’d
While every villain shook and cower’d.
“And as for He Who Shan’t Be Named,
He should be thoroughly ashamed,
I have it from a trusted source”,
And here she smiled at Sleuth-in-Chief,
“My God, such vileness beggars belief,
Sorry but I must state perforce,
Your plot to make the gor’mint fall,
Has come undone. The bloody gall!” 

1.6
Reader dear, thou art inconstant__
You clean forgot your sorry scribe,
Menhir-clad and quite despondent,
Last seen cursing the Gaulish tribe,
Jachhetailikhish, menhir-clad,
Was sweating, fuming, going mad.
“In matters of disguise”, she griped,
“Menhirs, largely, are overhyped.
It flatters not the fuller figure,
Besides wise reader, have you tried,
Lugging a menhir while you spied?”
But reader hush, I know you’re eager,
To hear the tale of Grandus’s plan
To snatch the Lady’s right-hand man. 

1.7
As we go to press, dear reader
We must rely on timely leaks,
To trace the story of our leader
And her aide, Goromhorlix….  

 To be continued…..       

 Cast of Characters

Dominatrix is the village Chief. She’s intrepid, she’s fierce and like every other Gaul __ man, woman and child__ she paints pictures and writes poems. Dominatrix herself fears no one except a company headquartered in Ayodhya with a branch office in Bengaul, called Jayashree & Ram. She suspects that they are secretly colluding with Hirsutus and behaves most oddly in the presence of company representatives.

Etashetamix (Bangla for Oddsandendsmix) is the village druid. He brews magic potion which gives villagers their superhuman strength. He is not on great terms with Questionableethix, the Chief’s nephew who is always trying to steal potion.

Hirsutus Grandus is the Roman emperor and a sworn enemy of Dominatrix. He is extremely grand. He is also a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. His tastes are eclectic. He loves acronyms, peacocks and Animus Terriblus. He covets the little village and has vowed not to rest till Bengaul is conquered.

Animus Terriblus is Hirsutus’ Chief Strategist and right-hand man. Not much is known about him but he knows everything about everyone. His spies are everywhere. The people lovingly call him He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Jachhetailikhish is a scribe from Bengaul. Jachhetailikhish is her daaknaam, her official name (we checked her Scribe School certificate, she cleared those exams after several attempts) is Yourwritingstinx. She’s opinionated, has odd ideas and skulks around Bengaul, on the lookout for breaking news. The villagers avoid her. She’s often in disguise while on undercover asignments. Lately she’s taken to wearing a menhir to work. Did I mention that she’s very subtle?

 Coming soon : The Curious Case of Goromhorlix